I want to share a recent experience with you guys. This past winter I was accepted as a guest writer for a local magazine. I was super jazzed and excited. Writing is a passion of mine, and one day I want to see my published work listed on Oprahs Book Club.
Fast forward a few months, the magazine has gone to print and hits news stands this week. What I thought would be excitement for my friends and neighbors to read my work, has turned to great fear. I immediately began picking my article apart, judging myself harshly, and feeling upset with the final outcome. Part of me is baffled at my own response, because my writing is beautiful and I know it. So why the fear? Because vulnerability and dreams- thats why…
You see, being vulnerable and open is a struggle for me. Regardless of the fact that I teach vulnerability classes within my community, I still find it daunting most days. And here I have wrote an article, and laid myself bare for my fellow community members. Now what if they judge me? What if they don’t like my article? What if they read my blog and who I am isn’t good enough for them? Its easy to sit in my office, and write this blog with transparency and vulnerability knowing I’ll probably never see anyone who reads my words. Because you know, the internet is pretty vast… But being vulnerable via following my dreams- within my own small town is terrifying. I know you guys are familiar with the fear of not being good enough. I know I’m not alone in my emotions- ever. Even if the words to define our fear aren’t the same, the emotions behind the fear are.
Following my dreams is scary. Its hard. and its also incredibly worth it. I know not everyone will enjoy my writing, not everyone will like me, and not everyone will identify with my story or my beliefs- but none of that gets to stop me from staying vulnerable and following my dreams. Seeing my writing in print, my thoughts laid out, and my story being told is a beautiful, and empowering feeling.
Today I will continue to write, and I will continue to live with vulnerability. Thanks for being here and taking the time to read my words, whether you live in town or not.
I love you guys!